Strength

April 30, 2017

The most amazing thing just happened!!  I opened up my blog to write and discovered that the last time I was here was EXACTLY one year ago today!!  Wait, what?!!

After going through an excruciating amount of password checking, rechecking and sorting, I found my way through a couple over zealous computer gaffs from the past year.  Turns out I've got a whole new Google presence, name and password, for now just gumming up the works.  I've just got to start writing and stop with all the distractions!!  (like changing passwords!!)

I came up with the idea in my mediation this morning that my blogging just needed a little more form to get started.  So I drafted a lead line or 'title' if you will and sat down with my computer to start writing from that line and sharing my oh so in-depth wisdom and knowledge about this great lead line I came up with!!  Ha ha ha!!  I crack myself up sometimes.  Boy oh boy did the universe have other ideas for me today!!  Well duh!! It always does!  ;)

So I open my computer, resurrected the last 'draft' in blogger and here we are - a year to date. AWESOME!!

And contrary to my own best thinking and theme making, today is my friend Richard's memorial. It'd be best I decided to not make today so much about me my diet, my pictures, my eloquence, my success and failures etc., but rather instead, allow and invite this time to be for Richard.  My heart just softened.

I'm sitting by the fire here at Jim and Richard's fabulous house being a small part of the memorial Jim is creating for Richard or Ricardo or Little Ricky, as he loves to call him, for today.  Later this afternoon about 100 people will come through this beloved home of theirs and hug Jim and share stories and grieve and celebrate the amazing, wonderful, loving, living, colorful, creative life of Richard Neilund.  Certainly, if ever there was a life well lived, savored, enjoyed, relished, reveled, and made better by, it was by this dear man.  He lived 91 years and gobbled up every juicy moment of them all.

Another extraordinary coincidence I can help but ponder is that Richard and my father were the same ages.  So for the past 30 years I've been watching and living the juxtaposition of these two men.  The differences could not be more extreme starting and ending with the beautiful extra handful of years Richard outlived my dad.  And where my dad and I had our many shortcomings, those enter no where near my life next to Richards.  Thank goodness, right?!!  I was given a positive view of the potential of family and I didn't even know that was what was happening!

I met Richard's partner Jim just before my long ago pre-wedding, get prepared by coloring your hair plan.  I was referred by a friend and he became my hair colorist.  Jim saw me through the many years I was convinced I had to make my hair different from nature's intentions and slowly slowly, we got to know each other better.  After a long summing me up (and funny!!  I thought I was summing him up!!), I was invited to come more into his life and meet Richard.  I began by visiting their summer vacation on Cape Cod where they were 'coincidentally' near my summer home.  Instantly I was hooked and began the journey of building my own family of choice through the generosity and spirit of both of these deeply loving men.  Mind you this is all happening unconsciously and even unbeknownst to me really.  But I keep showing up for various invites from Jim and Richard and our lives slowly become more and more entwined over the passing of many years.  I've been a single mum for most of this time and the steady support and drum beat like consistency of the celebrations and inclusions by Jim and Richard helped anchor the stormy seas that prevailed for many years for me.

It's only been recently in this 30 year story that I began to fully appreciate just how profound their holiday invites were.  There were many years that I would find myself alone on Thanksgiving or New Year's or just some lonely Sunday, only to find there was always a place in their celebration for me.

The temptations for regret about whether or not I adequately shared my gratitude with Richard must now be translated into ongoing support, inclusion and love (all easy to do!!) for Jim.

I'm bringing my peace of mind, my presence and strength to this day to share in the laughter, tears, stories and celebrations of a life I so deeply admire and strive to emulate as I continue to build my circle of family and friendship.  Thank you Richard!